Creative Absence: How I Learned to Step Away Before I Burned Out Again

I started Coaching with LB in 2020. By 2022, the business was doing well. In a lot of ways, I was seeing the kind of success I had hoped for when I started. Clients were coming, the work mattered and I loved what I was doing.

And… I was completely burned out.

I was two years into running my own business, with two months still left in the year, and I had nothing left to give. The hard part was that I couldn’t just step back and let the business keep running without me. I’m a coach, which means I’m the one sitting in the room with clients, asking questions, listening closely, and helping leaders sort through what’s true and what needs to change.

So stepping away felt complicated. But I was learning something I now know for sure: if I don’t build space into the rhythm of my business, the business will take every bit of space I have.

Knowing Better and Living Better Are Two Different Things

I have a Master’s in Counseling, so I had all the information. I knew what burnout was. I knew people weren’t made to run on empty, rest mattered and limits mattered. I knew I couldn’t give people my best if I was living depleted.

But I wasn’t living like I knew better.

And that’s the part I think a lot of business owners understand. Most of us don’t need more information. We know we need boundaries. We know we need space to think. We know we can’t keep saying yes to everything. We know the business needs us to work on it, not only in it.

The hard part is doing it.

Burnout often starts when we keep living against what we already know.

The Idea That Helped Me Name What I Needed

Around that time, I came across Henri Nouwen’s idea of Creative Absence. The way I understood it was that stepping away from your people can be one of the ways you serve them well. Absence, when chosen with care, can create room for growth, health, and a better return.

I needed that language.

I didn’t want to step away from client work because I cared less. I needed to step away because I cared about the work and wanted to keep showing up well. So in 2023, I started practicing Creative Absence.

When a month has a fifth week, I don’t schedule clients. I book that time with myself and Coaching with LB, and I treat it like a real meeting because it is one.

What Creative Absence Looks Like for Me

My Creative Absence is simple, but it’s planned. I rent an Airbnb at least an hour from home. I take a fiction book, giant sticky notes, fat Sharpies, and my laptop. I get out of my normal space so I can hear myself think.

I don’t do client-facing work during that time. I don’t pack the days with calls or try to squeeze in one more thing because there’s open space. I walk, pray, journal, and dream. I look at the business. I pay attention to my health, capacity, leadership, and the kind of life I’m building around this work.

Some of that time is practical. I may look at offers, money, systems, my calendar, or what needs to shift in the next season. And some of it is personal. I have to be willing to notice how I’m doing, what I’ve been avoiding, and what I need to deal with before I jump back into another month.

I don’t fully unplug. For some people, that may be exactly what they need. For me, no phone or Wi-Fi would create more stress than peace. So I stay reachable, but I put strong limits around it. If a client texts, I let them know I’m out of the office with a client. And I am. That client is Coaching with LB. 

That may sound a little funny, but it helps me remember something important. My business needs my attention too. My health needs my attention. The life I’m building around this work needs my attention. If I treat those as optional, they’ll always lose to whatever feels urgent.

I Haven’t Done This Perfectly

I wish I could say I’ve practiced Creative Absence perfectly every time. I haven’t.

Some months I’ve missed it. Some months I’ve let too much work sneak in. Some months I’ve done a poor version of it and had to admit that I didn’t protect the time the way I said I would.

But I’ve felt the difference enough to know I need it.

When I practice Creative Absence, I show up differently. I’m clearer. I’m less reactive. I have more room to notice what needs to change before I’m completely out of fuel. It has changed the way I show up in the business, and it has changed the way I show up outside of it.

Vacations and holidays feel different, and so does time with family. I don’t want the people I love to only get what’s left of me. And I don’t want my clients to get a version of me that’s running on fumes.

What This Could Look Like for You

Your version of Creative Absence may look nothing like mine. You may not take a fifth week. You may not rent an Airbnb or leave town. You may have a team, a storefront, a family schedule, or a season of life that makes your rhythm look very different.

The point is to build space on purpose.

Maybe that starts with one Friday a month away from the office. Maybe it’s one morning a week where you don’t take meetings. Maybe it’s a quarterly planning day outside your normal workspace. Maybe it’s one afternoon where you turn off the noise, look at your calendar, and ask what pace you can keep without burning yourself out.

Start with what’s real for you. Then protect it like it matters.

If your business has been taking every bit of space you have, ask yourself:

• Where am I running low and calling it normal?

• What do I know I need, but haven’t started practicing?

• Where do I need space to think, pray, and tell the truth?

• What rhythm would help me lead from health instead of fumes?

Creative Absence has become one of the ways I listen. It helps me notice what my calendar is saying, what my body is saying, what my business is saying, and what God may be inviting me to pay attention to in this season.

I’m sharing this because I know a lot of business owners are tired in ways they’ve learned to call normal. They keep pushing through because the work matters. They keep saying yes because the needs are real. They keep waiting for life to slow down before they make a different plan.

Most of the time, it won’t slow down on its own.

You have to build the rhythm before you need it.

Different results require different rhythms.

Your business is talking. Are you listening?

If your business has been asking for a different rhythm and you’re not sure where to start, I’d be glad to sit with you in that. Schedule a Clarity Call, and let’s talk about what needs to shift so you can lead from a healthier place.